School has begun, once again. I am going to be focusing on school and school only this semester and not let boys (or at least one certain boy) distract me. We are talking again, but I'm not expecting everything to be the way it was. I think I'm actually okay with that now.

For the time I wasn't talking to him, I had a constant knot in my stomach and constantly wondering

what he was doing, who he was with, etc. Now I feel at ease and realized that I want him in my life in some way because losing him would be awful. We have so much in common and I like having him as a companion.

Yesterday I did a photo shoot with Brian for his solo record. We set up my backdrop and lights in my kitchen (real ghetto style). We got a bunch of good pictures, but one that really made us both giddy. It kind of makes me think of a John Mayer photo (ie. the cover shot for Battle Studies).

I really hate

this unsettling feeling

in my stomach.

I want to know what comes next.

So I haven't really given a full update in a while. Tonight seems to be the night to do that, even though I should be getting to bed soon. For Erin and I are embarking in a journey tomorrow to find some thrift furniture store somewhere out east. I'm down to my last few pennies, which is pressuring me to finding a job relatively soon. At least I'm trying.

Being unemployed has influenced me to start writing again. I'm refreshing my knowledge on music theory so I can start writing music. I've played the violin since 3rd grade, but only learned to read music about three years ago. Sad, yes, but at least it happened. I really want to

write and play on the piano. I have always been in love with the sweet sound of jazz and soul and I would kill to be playing that right now. I'd also love to be packing for tour right now, but I'm stuck another semester at Old Westbury. Looks like I'll be hitting the road come summer now, which sucks. Long Island is a really boring place, if you ask me.

John Coltrane